It is so great to be in a place where I can walk on the ground instead of layers or snow. It's been a while since I have been both near the internet and in the mood to write something here. A week or so ago, I tried to get stand by tickets to Conan's last Tonight Show. I so thought that showing up at 2 am and sleeping in line on the sidewalk would lead to success. It was even raining :(. Luckily, I came with a friend and we took shifts sleeping in the van. They gave out tickets to come back at 3 pm when I would find out if I had made it in. After that, they gave out free donuts. No one wanted to join me in chanting "Co-nuts!" Their loss. I was number 70, and unfortunately, they only let in 60 people. Such a bummer since we were there before 2 am but went to use the bathroom in a hotel first, thinking there would be no one in line at 2 am. Turns out, people started waiting at 8 pm the night before.

The next day, Chris from my anthro frat in college, took us on a great scenic hike of LA. I posted pics on my facebook. I am soooo out of shape from my couch-dwelling in Alaska, so I was hurting the next day. Which was unfortunate since we went to Disneyland with free tickets from the give a day, get a day program. Two weeks before, I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity. It was raining then too. LA has been raining so much lately. Disney was awesome. I think we went on Space Mountain like six times. And I even went on Splash Mountain, which I hate falling rides so I was so thinking of getting out of the log several times before the fall. I went during the fire works so there was no line, or anyone else on the ride. It wasn't so bad, so I went a second time.

I bought a van in LA. It has a seat that is folded down to about the size of a queen bed, a chest, curtains, a power converter, and screens on the back windows. It can also tow and has a roof rack. I am excited to finally be out of Alaska. I was in the seattle airport, getting ready to board a flight to LA, and thought about how I was finally ending this stage of my life. And it felt awesome. I thought, who was this person that I was three years ago? I remember wanting so bad to travel but being afraid. And now I have been so many places and I have so many more to go.

I was talking to a friend about how when you do things that are outside you zone of confort and you force yourself to do it, you change and grow as a person. Being a flight attendant and living in the airport and being scheduling's bitch, not being able to quit because I was in so much debt, I changed for the better. I got to thinking, what can I challenge myself with now? And the one thing I thought I would never ever want to do is go skydiving as I am afraid of falling. I don't even like fast rides. So I have decided that I need to force myself to end this journey with a jump out of an airplane. And since I have always had this weird feeling I would die at 30, as I am sure many people secretly do, I hope it will just be a start of another long journey and not really an "end."

I had another one of those dreams where I swim in the air everywhere instead of walk. It's weird because I am always the only one who can do this. This time I was on a college campus. And another one of my recurrent dreams happened within this dream. I find out I am enrolled in classes two weeks after they started. But I don't know where they are, and the classes are usually some higher level math or science class. I try to find the class to catch up. And every time, the reason I haven't gone to class before is that I am just getting out of a lazy haziness where I lost touch with reality. Like I had been in a dream and I am just waking up. And I can tell the other students think I am lazy for coming to class late. I don't really care too much about that, it's just annoying.

Another dream I have a lot, which I had the night before, is that I am back at my high school. I am not necessarily back IN high school, I am just there. I am in the band room and everyone is playing except me because I quit. Which I did do in high school, quit band, and I never regretted that at the time as the band director sucked. But in my dream, Mr Flemming is there, the awesome band director, and I am holding my oboe. Sometimes I can't play because my reeds are ten years old. Sometimes I want to play, but I don't want to ask. I just watch. Three years ago, I sold my oboes, so I don't even own one anymore. Sometimes that is part of the dream. In this dream, the band director asked me to play. So I had to go down stairs to get the music. That's where I had another reoccurring theme. I go down the stairs, but I am afraid of heights and I have very bad balance. So I have to hold onto the rail tightly as I go slowly down the stairs. People around me have no problem going down the stairs, but I can't stay balanced without holding to the rails.