Yosemite

So I am a terrible blogger. I haven't kept up with this as much as I thought I would. A few months ago I went to Yosemite National Park for the first time. It was amazing. The most surprising thing for me is how accessible the park is. To clarify, all the trails were paved and those famous Ansel Adams pics were mostly taken from right off the trails. The only reason the average person couldn't take the same pics he took then today is 1. the landscape has changed 2. they don't have the same skill level to take the same quality of pic as Ansel Adams. It was so weird coming from Alaska to a national park where the trails were so not rugged. It was winter, so climbing half dome was out of the question. And almost every trail I went on, hardly anyone was there. That's the good thing about visiting in winter; you are basically alone. Also, the cold air created a layer of fog in the mornings that was really pretty.

The fog picture I took when I went on a photography walk with a guide from the Ansel Adams Gallery. It was free, and fun, and I met people who are WAY more into photography than I could ever be. Being an Alaska resident, I also found it funny to watch people trying to walk on ice. I saw a European guy trying to use a walking stick and slip almost into a split. And a Hawaii resident slipped and almost fell underneath Carl, my van.

So I visited a friend from college recently on my travels and it was a very self-enlightening experience. The whole cliche of how you learn about yourself from others. I realized that in college, I went through a phase where I was selfish, overly emotional, and drank too much. It's hard to describe what I learned from all of this without sounding mean about my friend, but I would say that I am much happier not being the way I was. And it helped me to see things from an outside perspective. I wish I could help my friend, but I know when I was in college, I felt that I didn't need any help. I didn't take criticism well, had low self esteem, and was very emotional. Being with Alan and traveling and having to be more flexible in life, brought me to that turning point. For the first time, I am living the life I have always wanted, and I feel confident with pursuing goals, and I am okay with being single. I don't think I'll ever be normal, but I would say I'm a normal weirdo :).

So it's been a while, and I have been a lot of places. There is an amazing amount of clarity after things are accomplished. It's weird that way; sometimes I wish I could just figure things out in my own head, but I seem to need to do things first. The national parks were great. I do wish there was less snow. Later I'll write about what I remember about each one. The last stop before I arrived in Durham, NC, where I am now, was at Moundville, AL. There I went to a mound archeological park. It was really nice how they had it set up. I went for a bike ride around and it was a nice day. They had stations where you could call a number on your cell and hear a narrative of what you were looking at. It was here that I realized I am done with anthropology as a career option. I will always be into anthro, but I can't see myself being in it as a job. And it seems weird to say, but the reason is that I think I would be bored. I like museums, but I think it would be a waste to go back to school to get a master's, and maybe not even find a job, and if I do, who is to say it will be something interesting. I mean, I liked seeing the mounds, but I'd be so bored working with them all day every day. I just don't know how academic of a person I am when it comes to a career. And when I say academic, I mean careers where people have their Phd and do research and stuff. ZZZZZzzz.

As far as being a park ranger, I could see myself doing that. I had some really awesome interactions with some rangers in the parks I went to. I just don't know if being in that job and the lifestyle is for me just yet. Basically, you have a roommate and move every six months... that's fine, but I have this dog....

I have decided that I need to find a place to live next. No snow... I really hate the cold. And I feel lethargic and want to sleep when it is cold. I am really thinking about trying again for nursing school. Before, I didn't give it much effort, and I was so unmotivated and didn't have much confidence. But this time, I'm going to give it a go and see what happens. The reasons for nursing is that I like science, the weird schedules keep me from getting bored, there are jobs EVERYWHERE so I won't be wasting my time in school, while people are annoying, I didn't mind taking care of them when I was a flight attendant, and I am a total people watcher--I like to meet new people and hear their stories. So it's good to have goals; they keep me motivated. I already have a BA so I can get it all done in about two years once I start. I didn't work hard for my BA and make the best of it, so it will be nice to go back to school and do my best.

It is so great to be in a place where I can walk on the ground instead of layers or snow. It's been a while since I have been both near the internet and in the mood to write something here. A week or so ago, I tried to get stand by tickets to Conan's last Tonight Show. I so thought that showing up at 2 am and sleeping in line on the sidewalk would lead to success. It was even raining :(. Luckily, I came with a friend and we took shifts sleeping in the van. They gave out tickets to come back at 3 pm when I would find out if I had made it in. After that, they gave out free donuts. No one wanted to join me in chanting "Co-nuts!" Their loss. I was number 70, and unfortunately, they only let in 60 people. Such a bummer since we were there before 2 am but went to use the bathroom in a hotel first, thinking there would be no one in line at 2 am. Turns out, people started waiting at 8 pm the night before.

The next day, Chris from my anthro frat in college, took us on a great scenic hike of LA. I posted pics on my facebook. I am soooo out of shape from my couch-dwelling in Alaska, so I was hurting the next day. Which was unfortunate since we went to Disneyland with free tickets from the give a day, get a day program. Two weeks before, I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity. It was raining then too. LA has been raining so much lately. Disney was awesome. I think we went on Space Mountain like six times. And I even went on Splash Mountain, which I hate falling rides so I was so thinking of getting out of the log several times before the fall. I went during the fire works so there was no line, or anyone else on the ride. It wasn't so bad, so I went a second time.

I bought a van in LA. It has a seat that is folded down to about the size of a queen bed, a chest, curtains, a power converter, and screens on the back windows. It can also tow and has a roof rack. I am excited to finally be out of Alaska. I was in the seattle airport, getting ready to board a flight to LA, and thought about how I was finally ending this stage of my life. And it felt awesome. I thought, who was this person that I was three years ago? I remember wanting so bad to travel but being afraid. And now I have been so many places and I have so many more to go.

I was talking to a friend about how when you do things that are outside you zone of confort and you force yourself to do it, you change and grow as a person. Being a flight attendant and living in the airport and being scheduling's bitch, not being able to quit because I was in so much debt, I changed for the better. I got to thinking, what can I challenge myself with now? And the one thing I thought I would never ever want to do is go skydiving as I am afraid of falling. I don't even like fast rides. So I have decided that I need to force myself to end this journey with a jump out of an airplane. And since I have always had this weird feeling I would die at 30, as I am sure many people secretly do, I hope it will just be a start of another long journey and not really an "end."

I had another one of those dreams where I swim in the air everywhere instead of walk. It's weird because I am always the only one who can do this. This time I was on a college campus. And another one of my recurrent dreams happened within this dream. I find out I am enrolled in classes two weeks after they started. But I don't know where they are, and the classes are usually some higher level math or science class. I try to find the class to catch up. And every time, the reason I haven't gone to class before is that I am just getting out of a lazy haziness where I lost touch with reality. Like I had been in a dream and I am just waking up. And I can tell the other students think I am lazy for coming to class late. I don't really care too much about that, it's just annoying.

Another dream I have a lot, which I had the night before, is that I am back at my high school. I am not necessarily back IN high school, I am just there. I am in the band room and everyone is playing except me because I quit. Which I did do in high school, quit band, and I never regretted that at the time as the band director sucked. But in my dream, Mr Flemming is there, the awesome band director, and I am holding my oboe. Sometimes I can't play because my reeds are ten years old. Sometimes I want to play, but I don't want to ask. I just watch. Three years ago, I sold my oboes, so I don't even own one anymore. Sometimes that is part of the dream. In this dream, the band director asked me to play. So I had to go down stairs to get the music. That's where I had another reoccurring theme. I go down the stairs, but I am afraid of heights and I have very bad balance. So I have to hold onto the rail tightly as I go slowly down the stairs. People around me have no problem going down the stairs, but I can't stay balanced without holding to the rails.

Last night Toby was barking in his sleep, which isn't unusual. But he was also growling, so I think he was dreaming about the dryer at the dog groomer's. I got a call today from the moving company and they are coming on Tuesday to get my stuff. There's not much. Three bins of books, dishes, randomness, and clothes. They didn't seem to believe that I don't have any furniture, as they asked three times and then asked if I had certain pieces of furniture. No, I do not have furniture. That includes a couch, bed, ironing board (yeah, I don't get this last one). Ah, the simple life. Free from the burden of possessions.

I went to the travel dept on the base and they said the FAA governs how many pets can be checked in airplane cargo, and that number is five. As I was a flight attendant, I would think I would have heard about such a rule that has been around "like, forever." And since I have plenty of time on my hand, I decided to call Alaska airlines and ask them after I couldn't find that info in my old flight manual or the internet. Yeah, they were no help.